The Dead and the Sea

Friggin' throw my body in the ocean. Emma. 18. Sometimes I pretend I have my act together. But I've got a degree and two doggies, so that's gotta count for something.


beatonna:

time for haircut
"A weeabo…is that the little Mexican monster?"
No April. That’s a chupacabra

engage-with-zorp:

hijerking:

”?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe what it is.

It’s the sound that Tim Allen makes in the Home Improvement theme song.

(via daddyslittletrophywife)

paradoxes-for-breakfast:

reasons why halloween is the best holiday:

  1. you are not obliged to visit your relatives
  2. you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
  3. people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
  4. its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin

(Source: caesarzeppeliofficial, via daddyslittletrophywife)

ruinedchildhood:

Is that Tyler the Creator

accidentallyfuckedurdad:

this is my favorite

(Source: blameaspartame, via ashleanin)

yuyukami:

alexanderlightworm:

So there’s a blind kid in my class, and today we were having really bad thunderstorms in our area. All of the sudden there’s a huge crack of thunder and all the lights go out. Some girl screamed “Oh my god i can’t see anything!” and the blind kid goes “Me either!!” and i just lost it

image

(Source: emmyblackthorn, via danielucifer)

virgini-titty:

speckster:

reptilereasons:

this period of the simpsons where homer is pretty clueless but still tries hard to be a good father because he does love his kids is my favourite, so many feelings

image

GROSS SOBBING

i love homer

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours, via detentiondetective)

invisiblelad:

milesjai:

ooooOOOOOOO

Seconded.

(Source: amazingxmen, via danielucifer)

speak-mellon:

peridotpirate:

Some of the very best subtitles

I needed this post

(via danielucifer)

marissagiersch:

justjenaynayy:

dolphinboy420:

i dont think i’ve ever been so frustrated

Orange you glad it’s not a banana 

it happened
spunkysmudger:

mr-egbutt:

tyleroakley:

witchhctiw:

the-solitary-witch:

warriorsatthedisco:

Its called the Death Waltz, and was written as a joke but people have attempted it on piano.

Saxes move downstage.

I’ll just leave this here.

SWEET JESUS CLICK THAT




initially it seemed as scary as Through the Fire and Flames after the ending credits in GH3, but I quickly realised that was the most monstrous understatement ever.
spiderinabelljar:

handsome—gretel:

witchcraft-y:

this gives me life and inspires me to step up my lipstick game


#Maybe it’s witchcraft #maybe it’s Maybelline.
lost it at the tags.

pulpfanfiction:

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SOMEDAY YOU MIGHT WAKE UP TO SOMEONE YOU REALLY LOVE’S SLEEPY SMILE AND GO THROUGH YOUR MORNING ROUTINE WITH THEM

(Source: mariokartsixtyfour, via pinklaureltree)

textsfromfourswords:

best thing ive seen all day
Theme